Love and its Layers…

Long ago or at least in a phase of my life that seems so, I wrote an article about True Love. It remains one of my favourites for the romance in it never fails to bring a smile to my face. But while talking to a friend earlier this evening, a sentence she uttered sparked off a menagerie of thoughts in my mind…

“There is no intrinsic duality to things,” she said. “It is our perspective that defines it.”

On Valentine’s Day, you envision Love to be all about red roses and teddy bear gifts. Love, that makes you feel glad to be alive. But haven’t we all heard of love that has also claimed lives? How can it be that one four – lettered word can encompass such a wide spectrum?

There’s that love you inherit.

From the first time you open your eyes to the world. A cacophony of sounds greet you as adoring eyes claim you to belong to them. Your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins….people whose lives you enter and who thus begin to love you, unconditionally.

There’s that love you constantly show.

Through borrowed clothes and stolen makeup kits. Through GI Joe and toy truck races. Through scraped knees and open arms. Through envious eyes as the older sibling gossiped behind closed doors. And sometimes also through pranks that were funny only until you cried.

There’s that love you grow up with.

Friends that you walk down memory lanes with. Bicycle rides that purposely stretched over longer routes. Landline calls that were made just to convey that one little thing you forgot to share, after you had just said Goodbye. Games that didn’t require props but functioned purely on imagination and belief that all was real. Secrets that were spilled under the stairs or over the parking gates, as mothers screamed for you to get back home and study. Notes that were passed across classes. Doodles that immortalised your textbooks.

There’s that love, which catches you off – guard.

The first time that someone makes your heart skip a beat. When just a shared glance made your entire day. When it was not necessary he know your name, but you needed his to check your future out in FLAMES. When one smile from him meant it was a ‘done deal’, and it didn’t really matter that he was smiling at someone sitting behind.

There’s that love, the very first one.

Those one – on – one talks that never seemed to end. Those long walks that never really cared for tired feet. The first time he held your hand, even though it might just be to cross the street. The first time he gazed deep into your eyes and made you blush. The first time he smiled at you, and you just knew.

There’s that love, which you grow into.

A friendship that grows into love. A life that you decide to spend together. A common space that you learn to share with each other. A partnership wherein you let each other grow; sometimes together but also securely apart. A shoulder to lean on and arms to come home to, no matter what the world throws at you. A husband who will never cease to surprise you with how well he really knows you…

There’s that love you lose.

A friendship that went sour. A relationship that you couldn’t fit into a particular mould. You try to hold on, but like fine sand, it slips away. You try to make sense but by then, it is already too late. You have changed, and it is time to move on.

There’s that love that hurts.

Friends and family who die. Without a goodbye. A phone call that shatters the silence, in the dead of the night. A message that invokes many a memory. An old handwritten note, addressed to you, found unexpectedly while cleaning up. A love that you suppress deep within, and which on some nights, comes to the surface through moist eyes.

There’s that love which rips you apart.

You assume both of you are on the same page. But then one day, things just go downhill. And you are left behind, holding your broken heart and wondering how to piece it together. It seems impossible, and even when you eventually manage to put it back in place, a crack remains. A reminder, that you have the capacity to hurt that bad….but also heal with time.

There’s that love which leaves you lonely.

You are surrounded by people who love listening to you talk or watching you smile. You revel in this attention, lap it all up. But then you grow up and everyone gets busy and time begins to run short. You go from being each other’s Favourites to a name down the Contact List. A blue tick that comes your way, but a reply that never does. Expectations that thus come crashing down, and a beautiful moonlit night that loses its meaning when he maintains a deliberate distance.

There’s that love which remains unrequited.

A confession too late. A Whatif too soon. A friendship that was valued far more than a relationship. A regret deep down, and a sigh upon the ‘road not taken’.

There’s that love which you outgrow.

A face that once featured so regularly in your life. A stranger now. A glance into those hard cold eyes, and a strange calm feeling that encompasses you. You remember a shadow of this person, but the memories have been erased. A passer – by really, who has now gone around the corner and is out of sight.

There’s that love you open your heart to.

New people that you meet as you walk out into the world. Acquaintances, colleagues, clients, contacts. People who you look up to and try to emulate. People who perhaps do the same to you! People who give you the chance for a fresh beginning and accept this new and improved you. People who you work deadlines with, and get through failures with. People who begin to have your back, as you slowly let down your guards.

And then, there’s that love that is yet to come your way.

Around each corner, is a new adventure awaiting you. New love that will come your way. Sometimes it will fit into one of these categories, or maybe just bring with it, its own. It may help you grow to great heights but occasionally also bring you crashing down. It may seem impossible to live up to, but sometimes may ask nothing of you at all.

Love, in all its layers, is overwhelming.

But love, in all its layers, is exactly what makes every day so interesting!