I have struggled with making same – sex friends, right from my childhood. The few ones I have made over the years, all hold root in my childhood. It was easier then, perhaps….because I befriended only those who ‘roughed’ it up a little, and weren’t too fascinated with dolls. I loved talking to those who read books, instead of those who gossiped about boys. I do my fair share of gossip, mind you, but somehow those moments are narrated to only those few!
As I grew older, I kinda grew resigned to the fact that my number of ‘girl’ friends, would possibly always remain limited to a count on a hand and a half. And I was fine with it, really, since those were the ones that remained true.
Little wonder then, that when I got hired into an office with “lots of women”, I initially felt like a nightmare come true. Adulting has its own share of struggles; this was one more! But then, one day, a naive and clueless girl walked into the office. She had such a bewildered expression when she sat in front of me for an interview, that I had already sighed inwardly at the waste of the next 20 minutes!
But I was desperate to hire, and so the least I could do, was to entertain this “fresh graduate”. As I narrated what the job would require from her, I saw no change in her expression. When my colleague suggested we hire her nevertheless, seeing that she was so raw in her experience, I had my doubts about it. “Would she be able to cope up?” I muttered to myself.
I look beside me each day now, 3 years since, and know she HAS been able to! Not only was she able to cope with almost all that we threw at her, she was also able to prove my first impression wrong. She wasn’t clueless, she just needed to find her comfort zone. She wasn’t naive, she was actually quite smart with her ways of the world. She was raw, but eager for the experiences that came her way.
It seems like a long time now that I first saw that girl walk into office. Much has changed ever since. She has become my Man Friday, a thing I’ll always be eternally grateful to her for. But beyond all that, I am glad that she managed to break down my walls. She walked into the office and my life, and showed me making friends as an adult needn’t always be tough. She leaned into my computer and proved to me that I wasn’t the only one with a good memory! She laughed at all my jokes and stayed up some nights listening to my woes. She patiently heard me spill out my fears and brainstormed over ‘philosophical’ questions that I randomly threw at her.
She has been all that, and more, over the years. A friend in the recent times, who showed me that each first impression need not be the last, nor does it last. Sometimes, you just need to let people into your life to know them in their totalness. I don’t claim to really know her yet, but I do know she has a long way to go, and to grow. And with that, so does our friendship….
To all the ‘sweet messes’ we have dealt with, Sayali….thank you for being there….and here’s to many more!
Happy Birthday 🙂