This year has been all about rediscovering old friendships for me. Friends who I have known since forever, quietly having slipped to the dark recesses of my mind, resurfaced earlier this year, and ever since…it has been quite the rollercoaster!
The funny thing about these friends…they have been around so long that I forgot to nurture these relations. You start to take these “forever” friends for granted, because when have they ever failed you? Haven’t they always been there? But slowly yet surely, you realise that you talk about them a little less, talk to them only on their birthdays and generally grow so comfortable with their presence that their absence in your life simply does not bother you.
And then one day, you just meet up. All of you. And you realise despite the changes in your interests, conversation topics and habits, not much has really changed. That comfort level persists, as does that feeling of…..”You understand what I am saying, don’t you?”
When I caught up, like really caught up with that set of friends earlier this year, it felt like pieces of a jigsaw were coming together. Each so weirdly wired, and yet fitting together just right. On a whim, we thought of using this year to make up for the years that were lost….and what better way than to be a part of each other’s birthdays outside of WhatsApp and via handmade gifts? It was what we revelled in, the very first year of our friendship as a group, and so it was only natural that we fell back into old habits.
But what we didn’t take into account was the fact that we had grown rusty in that department, because isn’t it just easy to order a gift online, diligently tick the Giftwrap box and ensure the “gift” isn’t set to Cash on Delivery?! And THIS is majorly for those you dearly care for….for all the others, it is a copy – pasted Happy Birthday message on Facebook or an HBD on WhatsApp.
We were pretty much walking down the same path, occasionally treating personal phone calls on birthdays to be the ‘gift’….because weren’t we gifting that person a chunk of our time? What could possibly be more precious?
So when the first birthday rolled up in April, none of us could figure out what to do. We started off too ambitious and much too lazy. Each option was discarded quickly, each “discussion meet” conveniently postponed for an ambiguous “Later”.
So lazy were we, that the second birthday crept up on us even before we realised it. Kicked into action, we met – planned – drew – coloured – stitched – ironed – packed – mailed the gift to the birthday boy, sitting faraway in the US. Ironically for us, our delays in creating the gift hadn’t influenced the courier service in any way, and so the parcel landed on his doorstep an entire week before schedule.
His eagerness to open it, our enthusiasm in watching his reactions “live” made all of us schedule a video call that night. While he had just woken up, I was ready to hit the bed, another friend was travelling in the crowded Mumbai local, one more was getting ready for a party and yet another was crossing the street to get home. But in that single moment, we were connected and happy that our efforts had borne fruit – in a way that mattered to us the most, watching him smile…all those miles away.
Thereon began an eagerness as our WhatsApp groups chimed often, ideas were thrown across, gift updates were regularly shared, late nights were shared and work distribution became obvious. Everyone pitched in, in whatever way they could. But what no one compromised upon, was the fact that the smile on the receiver’s smile needed to be maximum.
The good AND the bad thing of having known someone for really long is thinking up the perfect gift. For you already know what will get appreciated, and what will get royally ignored! Luckily for us, the long gap between the last time we created handmade gifts and this year, resulted in a vast scope of things we could do. What we actually “could” do, remained the ultimate question, though….and so our gift ideas slowly began to get filtered as per time availability and skill sets!
But as the months rolled by, our involvement increased….for we were also catching up beyond birthdays. We checked up on each other, we asked about and really listened to each other, and once again….we began to be there for each other. Creating a gift was simply an excuse; the actual gift lay in the friendship that was being rediscovered.
And so, last night, when a friend and I struggled to give the final touches to a gift, I realised what a long way we had come over the course of just a few months. That first gift, where we lacked initiative, interest and even dedication….so much so that an April birthday girl was handed over her gift in July! And the gift we gave to the birthday boy today…..where we stayed up late nights and rushed to make sure even an early morning breakfast meet did not deter our deadline.
As I watched my friend unwrap his gift today and smile to himself, I found a warmth spread through me. What began as a harmless experiment earlier in January, actually had helped us to pick up the threads…..and piece it together into a friendship, that could only ever be handcrafted with love đŸ™‚
